SO THIS IS WHAT THEY CALL MAGIC?

Either one second, one minute, one hour, one day, one month, one year, it doesn’t matter though, what really counts is what is inside that span of time. It doesn’t matter how short or long you’ve known each other or you’ve been together. IT’S NOT THE QUANTITY OF TIME, IT’S THE QUALITY OF TIME. Some couple have been together for years and years but in the end, they still end up on one thing, break up. Others are just together for months but end up happy together forever. What counts in a real relationship is not how long you’ve been together rather how much you’ve been together. After all, monthsaries and anniversaries are all just made up of numbers. Some couple there have experienced a lot of anniversaries but the word unfaithfulness and disloyalty is in between. 

EVERYTIME WITH HIM. ♥

Everytime with him feels like the first time. He never fails to make my heart skip a beat. ♥ ♥ ♥ His eyes, his smile, his visage, and everything about him. He never fails to make me weak enough to be lock up by his arms. There, I feel so much secure as if no one could ever hurt me again. I don’t know what this thing is yet but I hope it may turn out into something worthy. Thank you for making me believe in fairytales again. I just hope this time, happy ever after will exist.

Bear with me. =))

I never want this feeling to fade. I still don’t know what is this something between us but I’m hoping it will go into something deeper. I don’t think I can handle to have another effin’ love story again. Lol. Oh well, right now, all I want to do is to cherish every moment with him. I know there will come a time that even we don’t want to, fate will bring us apart. I just hope that it ill also bring back us together, at the right time, right place and the right reason. I always makes myself ready on all the probabilities that might happen. Good or bad, together or apart. I’d like to make myself believe that fairytales really do happen on real life. Like a damsel in distress rescued by a handsome prince charming or a lonely princess who had a broken heart then me a prince who loved her unconditionally. Please fate, destiny, serendipity! Bear with me. ;)

Meeting him was my favorite accident

HERE’S THE STORY. ONCE UPON A TIME, I MET HIM AND WE’LL LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER. I GUESS?

Meeting him was my favorite accident happened to me and until now; I’m enjoying the most pleasurable injury I’ve ever had. Yes, it was an accident or rather I should call it an unexpected and sweetest incident I could ever imagine. I though it’s just another typical day not until he was introduced to me at that moment I never really imagine that we may come this far. The only thing inside my head then was just to take exams, go back to school to attend class or just go to a mall with my friend. He never really crossed my mind again after seeing him. Pft. Another day is here, I checked my facebook via facebook0 from my network provider. (It’s free facebook app from sun cellular for those who’s not familiar with it) One thing I complain about this free facebook app is that it doesn’t shop any picture that’s why I can’t see the faces of those people who adds me or send me messages. Tsk! Okaaaay. Back to the real topic, sorry for additional complains. Lol. As I browsed my facebook messages, I saw a new one. It’s from someone named ****** ********. The name I do not know so I just ignored his message. I don’t have any class yet and I’m way too bored. Luckily, our school provides free internet surfing for those students who doesn’t have anything to do. You can check your online accounts except for YouTube and other websites, which I think you already know what. Duh? Obviously it’s a catholic school, you know what kind of website is not allowed. Oh well, I’m starting to write as if I‘m doing my wattpad story I almost forgot it’s my blog. Loljk :* Okay, continue… I checked on my facebook messages and I saw that message I browse earlier coming from that stranger, oh wait. His picture is kind’a familiar. Browse pics, browse then browse and browse agan. Viola! I knew it’s him. HAHAHA. How come I did not recognize him on the first look? Lol. It was him, he was my friend’s friend (yah! sounds asdfghjkl.) the one I met a couple of days ago. Since I have nothing to do, I decided to reply on him message after all; he is a friend of my friend, what harm it may bring. Pffft! He’s still online so we keep on chatting. He’s funny and I enjoyed our conversations we talked on things, a lot of things but he said goodbye coz. he need to attend his class already. Okaaaaaaay -__- I have no one to chat to or even text to, poor me. But after he said his real goodbye, he asked for my number, I don’t know what to feel then, it’s like something inside me gets louder, okaaay. It’s my heartbeat. I don’t know what might happen next but I gave him my digits. Unfortunately, he’s a smart user. I don’t have extra load to text him. I have my smart phone but I use it rarely. I asked him to have a sun cellular sim but it was only just a joke. I had a big smile on my face because he said he would buy one. Geeeez! Me is kinikilig. Lol. At that time, I don’t have any idea about him. I don’t know anything about him. -___- an unregistered suncell number texted me. I really hoped it’s him, and what more could you expect, It’s really him :) from there, I never imagined we’ll go far. Nice meeting you! My knight in shining armor. =))

SO THERE'S THIS GUY...

KAKAININ KO ATA LAHAT NG SINABI KO A. :’)

Take a break. Have a kitkat.;) Loljk. Don’t know how to begin this new entry on my blog. I know I’ve done so many blog posts but I believe this one is different. Uhm? Not literally different because maybe for others, it’s just a new random post made up of pure drama of this so called love life which I wished I have HAHA! or it’s just another typical love story which may just fall into two places, either a tear or a smile. I swore it’s a completely different story from these older posts I had. Just like what I said in my last entry almost two months ago, I think I really did moved on :) I believe it’s a good news right? Uhm. I just came up to realize that it is not that hard to forget him, after all, I just met him in just a couple of monthssss ago. Let me quote what I said in one of my previous post “I’m just inlove by the idea of being inlove.” Yeah right dear! It’s all in my mind. it’s just like that I woke up one day wanting to start a new life, without him. I really bet I can do it. Duh? Though I really learned to love him, I think it’s too much to spend all of my time just thinking where did I go wrong to make him do that ‘thing’ to me, hm. I guess you just don’t need to know what that ‘thing’ I’m talking about. Lol. All I can say is whatever that thing is, it’s way too painful to make me realize that HE’S NOT WORTH IT. Am I sounding too much rude right now? I hope he won’t read this. *fingerscrossed* Coz. if he does, -__- Dedz! Lol. HAHA. I guess this is way too much as an introduction? I think I just have to leave it this way and maybe I’ll just start a new post for what’s supposed to be in here. Dramaramaaaa! Bear with me. I’m happy!  If you’re my friend, just go on and laugh, I know you know what I’ve been through and I thank you for that. Hohohoho >:’) Atlast. I can smile without faking it. Thanks to one person. Hey! You know who you are. :”””>

SAY GOODBYE TO PRINCE CHARMING. =))

Sometimes, girls need to give up on Prince Charming, look somewhere beneath and just notice that one perfectly good squire climbing the tower. He's the one who's actually doing something. Why don’t take a chance and be with him? :’)

We keep on looking and looking and searching for that prince charming every girl is dreaming of. We always makes fantasy things we want to happen on us. Ideal man. I deal date. Ideal relationship. Ideal everything. We stand there, look around for those handsome boys wishing they’re ours. Turning our heads from left to right noticing that one hot boy passed us and made us drool. We keep on talking and talking about our dream guy, tall dark and handsome. A prince charming indeed. But what if there’s someone who really loves us. An average typical not so popular guy. A loyal squire indeed. Would you take a risk to give up on your handsome prince charming and be with that one loyal squire who’s actually doing everything just to get your attention? I bet not every girl can. I, myself once dreamt to have my own prince charming. What I want on a guy is tall, moreno, chinito, sporty, dancer, guitarist, intelligent, honest, loyal, sweet, understanding, matured. In short, Non-existing boyfriend. Lol. From there, I made up my mind and came to realize that happy endings does not exists on real life because in reality, true love doesn’t have a happy ending because it simply doesn’t end. TAKE A CHANCE. LOOK SOMEWHERE. WHO KNOWS, MAYBE HE’S JUST RIGHT BESIDE YOU. YOU JUST NEED TO OPEN YOUR HEART AND MIND. STOP STICKING TO EVERY GIRLS STATUS QUO. ;)

CINDERELLA TURNS OUT BEING GRAZILDA.

All this time I thought I was CINDERELLA but it turns out I was only just GRAZILDA after all. I made myself believe that I was really the princess of my prince’s story. From a distance, I never fail to think about him, to text him and to check on him and all that time I really thought he still feels the same way too. Yes, we had an agreement that if either one of us found someone while were apart, we better tell it and be open with each other to it. We also both agreed to accept it because I believe that’s what love means. Selflessness. Letting go, setting free. But I guess life is really just unfair sometimes, I never had a single idea till one night, I read and browsed his online accounts, I was shocked, surprise, upset and all the other synonyms fits these words. He’s not yet with somebody but he’s trying to get somebody while still trying to make me believe as if I’m his only girl. We ended things and while we are exchanging sad and teary conversations, I tried to open his online account and at the same time we are texting, he is also flirting with her. Damn fool. I never imagined it would hurt this much. The moment I read their conversations, I felt very weak. I can’t feel my body anymore. I just want to shut down my heart at that moment. I can’t do anything but cry. My heart broke into pieces and no one was there to catch it. It fell on the ground together with a promise to myself, “I will never entrust my heart to a man like him again or even any other man. I promise to be back at my old self, a none worried girl, happy go lucky, feelings breaker, one moment in love and one moment gone.” I think it’s better to be this way. Because in the game of love, the one who falls first is the loser. I never want to be the loser anymore.

BITTEREST TRUTH

“Sige ka, baka kung kelan handa ka na… wala na sya!”
“Kung mahal naman nya ko talaga, maghihintay sya.”
“Paano kung napagod na sya kakahintay?”
“Hindi sya mapapagod kung totoo yung nararamdaman nya”

Minsan hindi na sapat yung basta mahal ka lang nya. Lahat ng tao napapagod at kapag yan, sobrang nasaktan… kahit gaano ka pa nyan kamahal, magagawa ka pa rin nyang iwan. Tulad ngayon, saka ka pa babalik kung kelan tanggap ko na ang lahat? Kung kelan malinaw na sa sarili ko na hindi ko na kayang mahalin pa ulit at magtiwala sa isang taong katulad mo. Binigay ko lahat ng pagmamahal ko pati na ang tiwala ko pero lahat ng iyong sinayang mo lang, lahat ng yon napunta sa wala. Ilang gabi akong umiiyak akala ko sobrang matagal bago kita makalimutan, sabi ko noon kahit anong galit ang maramdaman ko sayo hinding hindi nun mapapantayan kung gaano kalaki ang pagmamahal ko para sayo pero wala e, sinagad mo yung galit ko kaya ngayon mas higante na sya kesa sa natitirang pagmamahal ko sayo. Hanggang dun lang siguro yun, tama na din siguro yun, pero kahit ganun gusto ko lang malaman mo na nagpapasalamat ako sayo dahil isa ka sa nagturo sakin para magmahal at magtiwala kahit pa walang kasiguraduhan. Hindi ko pa alam kung ano to sa ngayon pero basta alam ko masaya ako. For the last time I’d say this three words, Thank you, I loveD you, GOODBYE. :’)

GIRLS AREN'T ALWAYS THE VICTIM AND GUYS AREN'T ALWAYS THE VILLAIN ;)

FLIPPING THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN. ;)

Oyes! The title itself describe what's inside this blog post. =)))
I know this may sound weird coming from a girl like me but, Oh well... I guess This time, i'm going with a man's side ;)) Peace y'all girls! =)))

"MINSAN, KUNG SINO PA YUNG AKALA MONG DEHADO SYA PA PALA YUNG TUNAY NA NANG GAGO"

First one is. "GIRLS AREN'T ALWAYS THE VICTIM"

we surely don't ! Tentenentenen! and the best actress award goes to US! Lol =D I have to admit that though sometimes we are really hurt, there are also those times that we make other people pity us so the blame for a fail relationship won't go with us. :)

FOR EXAMPLE:

You want the truth guys? Whenever girls feel empty and alone, they always want someone to be there for them. If they're boyfriend is too busy with all the other stuffs, they will find another one who can be around them and fill the shortcomings of her man. Two things may come out in the end. it's either you're still chosen or your left out and replaced. If you ended into the so-called "BREAKUP", girls will never admit it's really they're fault. They'll just say it's a matter of shortcomings and misunderstandings. Wholaa! and then, they're safe. Other people would think they're the victim, they're the ones who really got hurt but the real thing is, sometimes, they really are the villain.

Now, Let's focus about the real point of this blog entry. WHAT A REAL MAN REALLY IS. :)

Second one is. "BOYS AREN'T ALWAYS THE VILLAIN"

Poor guys. All the blame in an epic fail relationship goes after them. But since, a real man never brag, always understands and never reacts. They just let all other people think they really are the villains but the truth is, behind their shown hardness resides a soft heart where true love really is. They can do beyond our expectations. They're not dumb-numb. In fact, they also know how to be left out, be hurt and cry. Maybe they're just good in pretending that everything is alright. They don't want other people to worry about them. They love their girls so much that they are willing accept all the blames of their relationship They are the one's who always find excuses for others but never excuses himself. They have fears but they don't let it rule them. One of their greatest fears is to lose their girls but if the girl herself gave everything in their relationship up, they're too brave to accept it and let her go. :/  oftentimes, they really are the victims.

PS: PARY II OF WHAT A REAL MAN IS WILL BE POSTED LATER OR TOMORROW. I CUT THIS BLOG POST E. HAHAHA. LOL :D

Sometimes, heart cannot afford a payment called "just friends" :')

Everything starts with friendship. They may end up partners but some stay as is. But what if the one you love can only offer you one thing. "FRIENDSHIP" nothing more, nothing less. It sucks like hell to hear the one you love saying "let's stay friends" :'( No matter how painful it is, you just gotta learn to accept it.

I'm happy now with my so-called "special friend". Ya, I knew him much, damn so good in flirting! That's why I really don't know where this special treatment will lead us. PARTNERS? or FRIENDZONE?

But I guess, though I don't really want to admit it, I think I'm starting to like him. I hate myself! right from the start I knew what kind of man is he. It may sound rude but honestly some people call him flirt-jerk thingy. Hahaha! It sounds ridiculous and liking him is twice as ridiculous! Ohgahd. -.- 

You know what's the sad part here? Ya. he's sweet.thoughtful.caring f.r.i.e.n.d. but. Ugh?! I don't really want to get attached with him. I just don't wanna get hurt. period.

WANNA KNOW WHY?

Because, Sometimes, heart cannot afford a payment called "just friends" :')

LOVE HURTS WHEN IT’S REAL.

Falling in love is never as easy as it seems. It comes with responsibility, willingness and unselfishness. When you love a person, you never count their wrong instead; you always end up seeing all the great things about them. You are contented having them and you stopped searching for others because you believe that you already had the best. Love is never about yourself, it is about the relationship between you and the person you love.

Relationship doesn’t necessarily mean commitment of being a “girlfriend/boyfriend” rather, it is the assurance in both parts that though you don’t have the “title” you know in yourselves that you are a partner. Love is not when you see him/her everywhere but it is when you still see him/her right after you closed you eyes. Love believes in everything, it is never a lie.

Everything about love seems to be magical from the moment you met until the moment you were apart. Love and life always comes together just as the sun and the moon always support and been there for each other. Love never sees physical things; it is always within our hearts. Love can do everything way beyond we know it. Love always endures pain. It will never react or complain on anything. No matter how hard it is, it will always find ways to understand pain. Love is never self-centered. It is always giving without expecting something in return. It overcomes everything.

Lastly, LOVE HURTS WHEN IT’S REAL.

LET US FIND WAYS TO UNDERSTAND PAIN.

They say that if you love someone, their happiness becomes your happiness too.

That’s why if they aren’t happy with you anymore, you have to let them go and set them free. Letting go of the one you truly love is another way of killing yourself emotionally. Setting free is one of the hardest things you can do for the one you love. No matter how hard it is, you have to give them the space they need. It is better to see them happy with someone else than to see them unhappy with you. Love is never selfish and greedy; it always gives though pain was given in return. You can cry for a moment but you must stand up and be strong.

A true lover is like a real soldier, he will fight as long as the reason is there but he will give up the moment the reason itself gave up. Holding on to someone who doesn’t hold back is one way of torturing yourself. You must learn when to fight and when to surrender because courage doesn’t necessarily mean fighting and believing rather it sometimes mean giving up and letting go.

Remember, GOODBYE IS ONLY PAINFUL WHEN YOU KNOW YOU WILL NEVER SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN.

SA DAMI NG MANLOLOKO SA MUNDO, HINDI KO NA ALAM KUNG SAAN ILULUGAR ANG “SERYOSONG” KATULAD DAW NYA. ;)))))

“iba ako sa kanila” “maniwala ka sakin” “ikaw lang ang mamahalin ko” “hindi kita iiwan” “hindi kita sasaktan” “hindi kita lolokohin” “ibahin mo ako sa kanila “magtiwala ka lang sakin” “seryoso ako sayo” “PANGAKO, IKAW LANG ANG BABAENG MAMAHALIN KO”-

 Yan ang mga famous lines na karaniwan mong maririnig sa mga lalaking walang ibang alam kundi ang magmagaling sa simula.

pareparehas lang naman style nila e, iisa lang din yung mga line na ginagamit nila. Gasgas na yang mga salitang yan e. Mga pangakong palagi namang napapako. susko! sa dami dami ba naman ng kaibigan ko na may iba’t ibang problema sa lovelife, kundi ko man lang ba malapit ng masaulo lahat ng klase ng lalake. kaya ako? sus. pass muna ako sa mga lovelife lovelife na yan. mas maganda yung ganitong single, sarili lang ang iniintindi. dami ko na ngang problema tapos dadagdagan pa ng lalaki edi lalo na yaaan. haha. hindi ko sinasabing pampagulo lang kayo ng buhay mga lalaki pero ang akin lang, umayos naman kayo. kung wala kayong balak mahalin at seryosohin ang isang babae, edi wag nyo ng landiin. hep, teka, sabihin nyo naman nilalahat ko. unfair naman ako. hindi naman sa linalahat ko pero aminin man natin o hindi e halos karamihan sa mga lalaki e ganito. puro landi lamang ang alam. puro pagpapasakay lang ng babae ang trip gawin sa buhay. ayos ayos din. minsan kasi sobrang nakakasakit na kayo e. eto pa, pag kayong kaming mga babae ang nagloko, big deal pero pag kayong mga lalaki, ayos lang. unfair! tsk. basta kung ano man yang mga binabalak nyo sa buhay nyo, wag nyo nang isama ang panloloko sa mga babae. at katulad ng title ng entry na to.

SA DAMI NG MANLOLOKO SA MUNDO, HINDI KO NA ALAM KUNG SAAN ILULUGAR ANG “SERYOSONG” KATULAD DAW NYA. =))

FEELINGS NEVER EASILY DIE BECAUSE WE KEEP ON FEEDING THEM WITH MEMORIES :)

Tama nga siguro tong quote na to. Pano mamatay ang isang feeling o nararamdaman sa isang tao kung araw-araw pilit natin itong pinapakain ng magagandang ala-ala mula sa nakaraan? Malamang hindi, mas titibay pa at mas lalala ang nararamdaman mo sa isang tao kung hindi ka matututong mag let go sa mga magagandang ala-ala na nabuo mula noong masaya pa kayo, mula noong wala kang ibang nararamdaman kundi puro saya at pagmamahal. Tapos ngayon, parati mo sya iisipin, Lagi mong aalalahanin yung magagandang ala-ala nung kayo pa, makakalimutan mong may mga iba pang bagay na maaring makapag pasaya sayo mula sa kasalukuyan. Sa madaling salita, mabubuhay ka sa nakaraan kung saan kahit alam mong sobra ka ng nasaktan, lahat ng mapapait na ala-ala ay kukublian mo ng mga bagay na masasaya at lahat ng luha at pait tatakpan ng mga ala-alang puno ng tamis at ngiti sa mga labi. Gabi gabi kang magmumukmok at iiyak tapos sasabihin mo sa sarili mo antanga tanga mo, ayan nasisi mo pa tuloy ang sarili mo kahit alam mo namang wala ka talagang kasalanan. Lahat na ng naging mali sa relasyon mo, inako mo na pero wala pa din namang nangyayare. Sa huli, ikaw pa rin yung masama at ikaw pa rin yung may kasalanan at ikaw naman tong si tanga, hala sige… tanggap lang ng tanggap tapos pangangatwiranang mo ng “pasensya na, Mahal ko lang talaga.” Kahit sobrang nasasaktan at nahihirapan ka na halos hindi mo na maiisip yun, may mga pagkakataon pa nga ng maaring mapabayaan mo ang sarili mo, mahuhumaling ka sa mga bagay na kahit alam mong mali yun na lang ang mapapagtuunan mo na pansin. KUNG SINASABI SA UNA NA HINDI AGAD NAMAMATAY ANG FEELING PARA SA ISANG TAO DAHIL PINAPAKIN NATIN TO NG MGA MASASAYANG ALA-ALA, BAKIT KAYA HINDI NATIN I-TRY NG THE OTHER WAY AROUND? YUNG ANG PURO IISIPIN MO NAMAN AY YUNG MGA MASASAKIT AT MAPAPAIT NA ALA-ALA? MALAY MO, BAKA SAKALING MAMATAY NA AT MALASON NA ANG LINTIK NA FEELINGS NA YAN NA NAKAKAPAGPA GULO NG BUHAY MO.

I'M JUST INLOVE WITH THE IDEA OF BEING IN LOVE. ♥ CONGRATS!

All this time, akala ko sa kanya pa rin umiikot ang buhay ko, akala ko sya pa rin ang nag ma may-ari ng puso ko. Pagkagising ko, bago ako matulog o sabihin na nating oras-oras naiisip ko sya, naaalala ko sya. At dahil sa mga dahilang yan, buong akala ko na wala pa ring nagbabago sa nararamdaman ko para sa kanya, na Mahal ko pa rin sya. Walang oras o araw na hindi ko nabanggit ang pangalan nya o hindi ko tiningnan yung mga pictures nya. Eh kasi nga e, akala ko sya pa rin. Akala ko, pdeng maging kami pa rin pero lahat ng mga inaakala ko, lahat pala yun talagang akala ko lang, lahat pala yun wala ng katotohanan. Lahat pala yon, bahagi na lamang ng masayang nakaraan, parte na lamang ng napakong pagmamahal. Hindi ko namamalayan na sa bawat pagdating pala ng bawat araw at pagpatak ng oras, unti-unti ko na pala syang nakakalimutan, unti-unti na pala syang nabubura sa puso ko. Hindi ko lang napapagtanto dahil isinasaksak ko sa isipan ko na sobrang mahal ko pa rin yung taong yon na sya pa rin ang nag-iisang nagmamay-ari ng puso ko. Nabuhay ako at kumapit sa pag-asang balang araw ay babalik muli yung dating kami na nawala simula nung nagkalayo kami. Pero “NUNG NAKITA KO ULIT SYA? SAKA KO LANG NAREALIZE… YUNG ISIP KO NA LANG PALA ANG NAGSASABING MAHAL KO SYA. PERO SA PUSO KO WALA NA :)” Kaya pala gustong gusto ko syang makita, kaya pala pakiramdam ko, kaylangan naming magkita, akala ko kaya ko gusto kasi gusto kong magkaron lahat ng linaw kung anong meron samin, kung maari pa bang ibalik kung anong meron kami dati. Pero nung nakita ko sya, ibang linaw ang nakita at naramdaman ko. Nagkaron na ng tuldok sa lahat ng mga katanungan ko. Nung papunta pa lang ako sa kanya, sobrang kinakabahan ako di ko alam pero ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko na para bang sobrang saya kasi makikita ko na ulit yung taong sobrang mahal ko. Pero nag-iba lahat nung nakita ko na sya, para bang nagkaron ng sudden change of mood. Yung mabilis na kabog ng puso ko biglang nawala. Parang ordinaryong kasiyahan na lang ang naramdaman ko nung nakita ko na sya, yun bang normal na saya kapag nakita mo yung kaibigan mo na mejo matagal mo ng hindi nakikita at nakakasama. Pati ako, nagulat. Para bang napatanong na lang ako sa sarili ko, “Bakit wala ng spark? Bakit ganito yung nararamdaman ko? Bakit nawala yung mabigat ng kabog sa puso ko? Bakit parang isang ordinaryong tao na lamang sya?” OKAAAAAAAAAAAY! At dito na nagtatapos ang katangahan ko sa pagpapaniwala sa sarili ko na mahal ko pa rin sya, na mahal ko pa ring yung taong minsang naging mundo ko na all this time, ISIP ko na lamang pala ang nagsasabi at nagdidikta sa sarili kong mahal ko pa sya pero sa puso ko? Burado na pala sya. Congrats! Moved on na pala ako. HAHAHA! =D 

SARILI MO MUNA ANG ISIPIN MO :)

Kung dati ang buong oras at panahon mo ay iginugugol mo para sa isang taong naging malaking parte ng buhay mo ngayon dalwang bagay na lamang ang karamay mo sa paniniwalang maubos man sila marami pa rin namang magiging kapalit at sa bawat buga ng usok ay ang paglabas ng sakit na nararamdaman, bawat lagok ng likidong kay pait, kasabay ang paglunok ng pride na sana’y noon mo pa ginawa. Sa isang inuman na may labasan ng hinanakit at sama ng loob magkakaroon ka ng lakas para sabihin sa buong mundo kung gaano mo  kamahal ang taong iyon tapos iiyak ka ng iiyak hanggang sa di mo na lang namalayan na iyon na pala ang huling usok ni kaibigang yosi at huling patak ng mapait na kaibigang si alak. Sa mga oras na iyon, Oo… makakalimutan mo ang sakit pero kinabukasan kapag okay ka na, di ba nandun pa rin naman yung sakit? Hindi mo pa rin naman nakakalimutan yung taong nagdulot sayo ng lahat ng yan. Isipin mo nga, para san pa yung mga ginawa mong yon? Sa wala din naman di ba. In the end sarili mo pa ang naperwisyo mo. Buti sana kung kapag ginawa mo ang mga bagay na yan bigla ka na lang magkakaroon ng amnesia tapos bigla mo na lang makakalimutan yung taong nagdulot sayo ng lahat ng sakit at naging dahilan ng kung ano ang nangyayare sa iyo ngayon. Kung pwede nga lang na ganon e, kung ganon nga lang ba kadali ang lahat. Sana naman, sa mga pagkakatong labis ka ng nasasaktan sarili mo naman ang isipin mo. Magpakatino ka hindi para gawing kundisyon upang balikan ka nya kundi magpakatino para sa sarili mo atsaka mo hanapin yung dating ikaw na nawala buhat noong minahal mo sya. 

TIWALA LANG, MAKAKALIMUTAN DIN KITA :')

WALA NA ANG DATING TAMIS AT SA TINGIN KO’Y DI KO NA MAIBABALIK… BAKIT DI KO MAAMING WALA NA ANG DATING DAMDAMIN? DI NA GANUN AT HINDI KO NA KAYANG PILITING MULI MONG ANGKININ. DI NA GANUN. :’(

Hindi  naman siguro masama kung paiiralin ko yung pride ko dba? Hindi rin naman siguro masama kung kahit ngayon lang sarili ko muna yung isipin ko dba? Ngayon lang naman to eh kasi sobrang nasasaktan na ako ayoko ng ma take for granted na iiwan kung kelan gustuhin tapos babalikan na lang pag wala ng iba. Nasasaktan na kasi ako e, this time uunahin ko na munang isipin yung nararamdaman ko, yung sarili ko at yung kasiyahan ko. Pero kung hihimayin ang mga bagay na sinabi kong uunahin ko ikaw pa rin naman ang kakalabasan e. Una, sabi ko uunahin ko ang nararamdaman ko, e ano bang nararamdaman ko? Kahit naman galit ako hinding hindi malalamangan ng galit ko yung pagmamahal ko sayo e. Pangalawa, sabi ko uunahin ko yung sarili ko, e sino bang naging malaking parte ng sarili ko? Ikaw din naman diba? Simula nung minahal kita naging isang malaking parte ka na ng sarili ko at ng buhay ko. Pangatlo, sabi ko uunahin ko yung kasiyahan ko, e sino bang nakakapag pasaya sa akin ng sobra? Ikaw din naman diba. Ikaw yung taong napapasaya ako kahit sa mga maliit lang na dahilan lang. Ikaw yung may pinaka malakng rason sa likod ng mga ngiti ko. Kita mo na? kahit pa anong idahilan ko sa sarili lahat yon konektado pa rin sayo. Siguro mas mabuting sabihin ko na iiwas na muna ako sa mga bagay na nakakapagbigay ng bigat at sakit sa puso ko. Ikaw din naman yun e, ikaw yung nakakapag pasaya sa akin pero at the same time ikaw dn yung nakakapagbigay ng sakit sa akin kaya siguro mas maganda na ring umiwas na rin muna ako. Hindi ko alam kung ano talagang pdeng maging dahilan at kung hanggang kalian ang pag iwas na gagawin ko pero ang alam ko lang gagawin ko to para sa sarili ko. Para hanapin yung dating ako nung minahal kita. Kung nagawa kong maging masaya at kuntento nung hindi pa kita nakikilala, naniniwala ako na kaya ko rin yung gawin ngayon. TIWALA LANG. MAKAKALIMUTAN DIN KITA =))

IF ONLY :'(

If time was moving backwards the smoke would turn to trees and ice would melt from water and rivers run from seas and fall would follow winter and summer’d turn to spring and you’d be back with me.. 

If I’d paid more attention, heard every word you said. If I’d thought about you more and me a little less. And if I would have noticed 
the things I didn’t see then you’d be back with me.. 

Back in these arms that are empty without you. Back in my world 
that revolved around you, Tears would run back to my eyes. The rain would fall up to the sky… 

If our love was a movie and I saw it in reverse the end would never happen cause goodbye’d come first. And all this pain I’m feeling would turn to ecstasy and you’d be back with me 

YOU’D BACK WITH ME :’(

Each night before I go to sleep there is only one thing I would like to wish and make happen. Obviously, I couldn’t ask for any other person but you. All my 11:11 stupid wishes was spent on you and I do hope it will never be wasted. Every time I was asked to think of a person I would like to be with, I will never fail no mention your name. Upon all of my dreams, our love is what I want to come into life. I know by this time, it’s still impossible to have you back because as I can see, you’re still happy with someone else, and honestly, it totally breaks my heart. This is becoming too hard, this smile I’m faking when I see you with her is becoming too hard to force, hiding the pain in my voice when I talk to you is becoming impossible. I wish I could tell you the truth. I LOVE YOU. :’(

TWO SAME TITLE WITH TWO DIFFERENT STORY BEHIND.

What’s the funny thing? There were two different girls behind To the one He Loves and To the one He Loves. Second time around :’(. I guess, love isn’t really just for me? Lol. I hope not. The first time I wrote To the one He Loves.It’s for the girl who was loved by my first love. We had a promise that when I got into college, Him and I can have a brand new start, a much sweeter and mature relationship, unfortunately, before I got into… he met someone. Someone better? Someone who’s more mature? And someone who can ride into his personality. It really hurts to see them specially we were studying on the same university. This time, I’m writing the second time around version. It hurts more that I wrote the first one. After two years, I chose to open my heart and to love again and I thought that this time, I will not experience the same pain I felt before but now, I guess the pain is not really the same because now? the pain is doubled or I might say it’s even tripled :(

TO THE ONE HE LOVES. Second time around. :’(

I can’t believe I’m doing this and writing something again about this title “To The One He Loves” for the second time around. I also can’t believe that this time, it hurts a lot, it hurts more than the first time I wrote about this. It really sucks and hurts so much to see him happy with someone else. I’ve been reading so much things about the two of you on facebook, twitter and tumblr, I saw your pictures together, she met your family, and from apart, I could see that you are happy with each other. I just hope everything will be fine and as time goes by, I’ll learn to accept the fact and be happy for your happiness is also my happiness. For you, I will always find wayssssss to understand pain :)

I MISS YOU :(

Second, Minutes, Days, Weeks and Month has passed. YES, I MUST ADMIT. I Miss you, I just don’t know if I still love you. Been crying lots of times and I had done something I never did in my entire life. Maybe, You are my world for quite a time but I guess it’s the right time to make myself realize that everything is over since the 24th of july. Right? Well, I just wanna say “I Love You” and I am not asking you to say you love me too. Okay? Just like this song I know that that though I am willing to do everything for you, I know it will never be enough to have you back. and BTW, If you read this, Uhm? I doubt you will. Lol. But if that time happens, I guess and I really do hope, I already moved on. Just wanna say Thank you. Sorry. I love you and Goodbye. :)

SOBRANG SAKIT NA :(

Nagpapakatanga sa bagay na kahit kelan hindi naman naging kanya, pilit ibinabalik ang bagay na hindi naman nagkaron ng titulo pero sobrang minahal ng todo. Ilang beses nang pinagsinungalingan pero lahat pinaniwalaan. Lahat ng imposible binigyan ng daan at katuparan. Yung nasanay ka na araw-araw pangalan nya ang nakikita mo sa cellphone mo at messages mo. Nasanay kang laging syang nandyan para sayo per dahil lang sa lintik na distansyang pumagitna sa inyo at sa isang taong nakasama nya sa madaling panahon lahat yun ay nakalimutan na. Masakit pero kailangang tanggapin. katulad ng lyrics ng kantang to, DAHAN DAHAN MONG BITAWAN ANG PUSO KONG DI MAKALABAN DAHIL MINSANG MONG INIWAN LABIS NA NAHIHIRAPAN” kahit masakit kailangang tanggapin na hindi porke’t masaya ka sa isang bagay o sa isang tao ay forever ng ganon, dapat maging handa tayo sa maraming bagay na pwedeng mangyare dahil pag ang inisip natin ay mga puro positibo lamang at mas malaki ang chance na mas masasaktan tayo kasi nag expect tayo, kasi nag assume tayo. Walang magagawa, NAGMAMAHAL LANG PO :)

AT THE END OF THE DAY..

I’m happy all day! Surrounded with friends, classmates, peers and newly acquaintances. Happy thoughts are on my way. Good vibes gently walks on. Laughs are all over the air. Smiles cover up my face. I was filled with happiness and tight bond. But, at the end of the day. Tears came falling down. Sadness hugged me so tight that I can’t barely breath. Pain filled my room. Emptiness is all over my visage. NEEDING YOU. WANTING YOU. MISSING YOU. 

ONE STEP CLOSER. (Forward? Backward?)

Sa last post ko, nasabi kong Masaya na talaga ako kasi that’s what I really felt days ago, pero this night, parang nag-iba na naman? Dunno but I felt something which cuts my heart again tonight? Umiiwas na ko pero sa tuwing magkakaron ng pagkakataong magtagpo ang landas natin, hindi ko pa din mapigilang magparamdam. Well, I know part yon ng process pero hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili ko sa mga bagay na alam kong mapapalapit ulit ako sayo. Sa simula iiwas ako tapos piigilan ko ang sarili kong mainvolve sa anything na about sayo pero in the end, gagawin ko pa rin naman. Gumagawa ako ng paraan para mapalayo sayo pero sa huli, mapapalapit lang ulit ako. Hindi ko alam kung tadhana gumagawa ng paraan, masyadong korni para maniwala sa mga bagay na ganon pero at times, parang gusto kong maniwala e. Kung tutuusin madali lang naman talaga akong makakaiwas sayo e pero may mga certain times na parang pinaglalapit na talaga tayo ng fate? Ewan ko ba. Ang ayoko lang yung makita ulit kita sa personal kasi alam ko baka bumalik lahat ng nararamdaman ko para sayo. Baka pag nakita ulit kita hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili ko. Baka mahalin ulit kita. Baka magmukha lang akong tanga. Pero kahit ilang beses kong ipilit sa sarili ko na iwasan ka, wag lumapit sa mga bagay na pdeng magkonekta satin there’s just a part of me na nagsasabing “malay mo pde pa?” hindi ko na talaga maintindihan sarili ko. Sana maging okay na lahat.

SINGLE. HAPPY. CONTENTED.

If you’re going to ask me now if how am I. I’ll be happy to answer you, “I’M FINE. :)” plus a real smile on my face. Yes, I know deep inside me I’m alright. Right now, I’m happy being around my friends which serves as my inspiration. They are the ones whom I know will never leave me because in real friendship, there is no such thing as “break-up”. I enjoy their company and everytime I’m with them, I forget all the painful feelings inside my heart. They are the reason of my smile and laughs. They are the names on my inbox, facebook wall posts, comment box and twitter interactions. They’re always there when I need them and I knew, our friendship will last. Because of them, I almost forgot the cut inside my heart. ♥

TOO MANY THINGS TO BE BUSY ABOUT. ;)

MYSELF, Studies, tumblr, twitter, facebook, plurk, wattpad, skype, volleyball, friends, classmates, assignments, projects, quizzes, gimiks, hang-outs, cellphone, professors, family, allowance, transportation, crushes, haters, suitors, tours. These are the things I’m busy about and because of these, I HAVE NO MORE TIME FOR ALL THE DRAMAS CAUSED BY THE EFFIN LOVELIFE. ;)

SANA. :(

Madami na kasing nagbago. Di porke’t ganon kayo noon, ganon pa din hanggang ngayon. Lahat naman ng tao nagbabago lalo na’t pag nasaktan mo ng todo. :l

Yung sa sobrang sakit na, manhid ka na sa salitang pagmamahal :l Kahit alam mo at ramdam mo na talagang mahal mo sya, may isang parte sayo na parang umaayaw na lang, na parang nagdidikta na wag na lang sya. Kapag kasi kahit gaano mo kamahal ang isang tao noon, kapag naranasan mo na yung sakit dahil sa kanya, hindi ka na magiging katulad nung dati. Kahit gustong gusto mong ibialik yung dating kayo, kahit gustong gusto mong maramdaman yung dating pagmamahal mo sa kanya, hindi mo magawa, siguro isang dahilan na din na nadala ka na pero para sakin, ang pinaka dahilan ay yung sakit na naramdaman mo dahil sa kanya at yung tiwalang inubos at sinayang lang nya. Yung pakiramdam na pilit mong kinukumbinsi yung sarili mo na mahal na mahal mo pa rin sya, alam mo din deep inside na hindi na kasing tindi ng pagmamahal mo dati. Madami na kasing nagbago e, nasaktan ka na e. Kumbaga, kahit gumaling yung sugat nandun pa din naman yung peklat. :/

MAHAL MO SYA. MAHAL KA NYA. SAPAT NA KAYA YON? </3

I never expected things would end this way. I love you so much that I’m willing to give you up. I will never be that selfish girl and sacrifice your happiness just to get mine. Honestly, I never thought this would happen to us. Well I guess, even the happiest fairytales still has its ending, Happy or not, together or apart. Unfortunately, our ending came out as an unhappy and apart one. If you are happier with her, I guess I can’t do anything about it anymore. You had your decision and you chose her. Even if it hurt so much, I’ll try to smile and show everyone I’m okay. For YOU, I will always find way to understand pain. I LOVE YOU AND GOODBYE. :l

I LOVE YOU :(

Maybe, I love you this much and even how much pain I feel and how many tears I burst, I will always accept your sorry and I will always stick with you. No matter what other people will tell me, they can never dictate my heart to stop loving you. I loved you, I love you and I will always love you. :”>

Ganun nga pala talaga pag sobrang Mahal mo yung isang tao. Yung siyam na daliri mo nakabitaw na sa kanya pero yung isa, nakakapit pa at umasang hilahin ka nya at maayos ang lahat. Mas gugustuhin ko pang hindi ko na lang alam yung mga nangyayare sayo. Yung hindi ko na lang nababasa yung mga sinasabe mo sa iba atleast wala na kong dahilan para masaktan. Hindi na lang ako magtatanong kung sino yung ibang nakikita ko sa accounts mo para di mo na kelangan pang sabihin yung totoo. Hindi ko na itatanong sayo kung sino yung mga nakakakasama mo araw-araw, mas gugustuhin ko na lang na hindi ko alam  kesa naman mas lalo akong masaktan. Maniniwala na lang ako sa mga bagay na sinasabe mo saken kesa mag-away pa tayo pag pinagdudahan pa kita. Hindi na lang din kita paulit ulit na tatanungin ng mga bagay na sobrang gusto kong malaman, para if ever hindi mo na kelangang magsinungaling sakin. Lahat yan gagawin ko kasi para sakin, mas ok na yung paminsan minsang pag iyak ko nang dahil sayo kesa naman mawala ka sakin. Lahat ng sakit titiisin ko wag ka lang umalis, wag mo lang akong iwanan. Ganun kita Mahal. Sobra pa sa apaw. Kahit anong sakit pa maramdaman ko hindi pa din yun magiging sapat para matakpan yung pagmamahal ko sayo. Hindi ko kaya na mawala ka sakin kahit pa paulit ulit kong marinig sa ibang tao yung mga salitang “ang tanga tanga mo” at “madami pa jang iba” Kahit pa ilang daan, libo o milyong beses kong marinig yang mga salitang yan ikaw pa din ang mamahalin ko, ikaw pa din yung pipiliin ko. At katulad ng kantang ito, KUNG MERONG MAGTANONG TUNGKOL SA AKIN, SABIHIN MO… OK LANG AKO. :|

THANK YOU FOR THE BROKEN HEART :”“”>

“Everything I know about love I learned from you and everything I know about pain I learned from you. You were my only, you were my first. You showed me lonely and you took me in when I was hurt. But the most important thing you ever game me was the one that hurt the most.”

All I ever felt before was hatred, anger and betrayal. Almost every night, I always burst out in tears in taking the truth that you already had someone else and that promise of ours will just stay in words and will never come into life. Everyday, I always hope that everything will be fine. In just one snap, I can have you back… I can return those times when you are still mine. Everything I knew now is because of you. All the hurt, pain and worries I felt, it is because of you :”>

“ SO THANK YOU FOR THE BROKEN HEART AND THANK YOU FOR THE PERMANENT SCAR. ‘CAUSE IF IT WASN’T FOR YOU, I MIGHT FORGET HOW IT FEELS TO LET GO AND HOW IT FEELS TO GET A BRAND NEW START. SO THANK YOU FOR THE BROKEN HEART :)”

I had a big realization on every pain you caused me. God has given me real eyes to realize real lies. You caused me the pain I will never forget. This scar in my heart will always be here. But for that, I just wanna say “Thank You” for all these things you made me feel. It made me stronger and it made me realize that I could be much happier that I am when you’re still with me. Thank you for the chance to have a brand new start. A better life. A better me :)

“I still remember when you called and said that she didn’t mean anything. How could you expect me to look at you? You were my only but not my last. You showed me lonely and you made me put you in the past. But the most important thing you ever gave me was the one that hurt the most. And everytime I find myself alone in pieces. I find myself. I’ll just remember when you hurt me and I made it.”

I remember that time when you said that she means nothing to you. My bad, I believed it. I believe every little thing you say without any hesitations. I love you that much thinking you will never lie to me. You caused me so much pain, but luckily after two years… I’ve learned to overcome all those pain and release all my anger and hatred. I am much stronger now and I thank you for that =)

“SO THANK YOU FOR THE BROKEN HEART AND THANK YOU FOR THE PERMANENT SCAR. ‘CAUSE IF IT WASN’T FOR YOU I WOULDN’T BE HERE WITH THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, ALL MY PAIN DISAPPEAR. I’VE COME SO FAR SO THANK YOU FOR THE BROKEN HEART.”

All the hurt came as a blessing in disguise. All of the pain suddenly became my strength. At last, after a long time, I moved on. :) I finally learned to smile without any pain in my heart. I just want to say thank you for letting me go because I got the chance to be with somebody else now. Someone who loves me as much as I do, someone who I believe that will never leave my side with no reason at all. I am now full happy with my HIM <3 I Love Him So Much :)))) SORRY AND GOODBYE. Thank you for the broken heart. Thank you for all the heartaches you caused. Thank you for all the memories we shared. :”””>

Always remember, I'm still here :">

Baby, don’t you ever think that you’re alone. Always remember that I’m always here for you no matter what. Don’t you ever think also that nobody is with you. Look inside you heart baby, I’m here! <3 I will never ever leave you even when everybody else does. I will always stay by your side no matter how many problems will come. I will always listen to every worries and complaints you have. Let me be your partner in fighting and facing all your problems. I’ll never leave you behind even when the world already turns their back on you. I will always be that one person you can always count on to. Without a word, I will just hug and kiss you and hope that everything will be fine. I love you baby! :*

COZ. IT'S YOU AND ME. :">

Every time i’m with you, there is no other person I could possibly think of to occupy your place. You are the perfect person I could be with. You’re the perfect face my heart sees. Your voice is the only sound I hear. Your eyes and stares are the only presence I can feel and you are the only person I can ever think of loving this much :”> I just want you to know that no matter what happens to us, I will always love you and I will always be here for you even if you need me or not. :) You will always have a part of my heart or if you want to, you can have it whole :”> FOUR WORDS. TWELVE LETTERS. “I Love You Baby.”

BOTTOMLINE ♥

Some boys want to have me. They are near, one call ahead and I can always be with them but I will never ever replace you. Though you’re far I know deep down you were always with me. Right here in my heart. <3 I chose you not because I want to but because I felt you. I love you not because of who you are but because of who I am when I’m with you. I’m holding on with you not because I just want to but because I love you. Bottom line? I’m doing this because I LOVE YOU. :”>

Coz. its YOU ♥

No words can express how much I love you. I am longing to hug and kiss you everyday but unfortunately, distance contradicts. I miss you so much and as days pass, I’m missing you more. I believe that we can survive this long distance relationship as long as we have our trust and loyalty to each other because I believe that love itself is not enough to make a relationship work, grow and last. I will always be true to you no matter how many gorgeous faces I will meet and encounter. My heart is yours and it will always be yours. Always remember that baby. I love you so so much way beyond you know it :”>

NTH REASON WHY I LOVE HIM

The guy who calls me for no reason at all. Those endless topics we share. Those hands that perfectly fit mine. Those tight hugs and warm embraces. Those cuddles we do. Those sweet kisses of yours. Those looks in your eyes that melts my heart. Those sweet messages which made may heart skip a beat. Those tears we shed for some times. Those long conversations we always do. Those funny moments everywhere. Those mall times and trips. Those walking and sweet talks we did. Those unexpected ‘banats’ we always come up with. Those surprises you did. Those memories of ours. I MISS IT ALL BABY! : “> How I wish I could just jump there just to be with you. I LOVE YOU FOR NTH REASON AT ALL :****

I WANT YOU TO KNOW...

As long as we can see the same sky, breathe the same air, step on the same planet then you and I will always be together and I will never ever stop loving you :”>

AND THE REASON IS BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.

Here comes the test of distance. I don’t know how long can I hold on to this kind of relationship. It’s really hard when the person you love is afar from you. There comes the time when you just want to kiss them, hug them and cuddle them but you can’t simply because he’s away. But baby, one thing I assure you is I will always be true and loyal to you. I stay in this situation simply because I LOVE YOU. I get mad when I see something wrong with you simply because I LOVE YOU and I get jealous everytime I see and read something on your online accounts simply because I LOVE YOU. Everything I do, there is only one reason for it and that reason is BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. Each morning as I wake up and each night before I go to sleep, I always think one name and that name is YOURS. I always look forward for those days we can see each other again and make another moment to be miss. :) Although sometimes, we have our misunderstandings, shortcomings and a little fight let us always find ways to make it up to each other. I will never give you up for just short time happiness. I love you and I will always will. 

I LOVE YOU.

When things get awfully tiring, let us allow ourselves to pause for a while and take a rest. There is no such thing as “perfect relationship”. Trials and problems may occur but it is never a reason to give up. Distance is just a mere word in a dictionary. Let us not make it come to life and ruin our relationship. Trust is a big word but I am willing to give it to you. I wanna kiss you, hug you and cuddle you everyday. Each morning, as I wake up, I never fail to check my phone to see if you remember me. Everyday, one new message coming from the only person I love… coming from you. Everytime I say “I LOVE YOU” I really mean it. Baby, I always find lots and lots of reasons to stay in love and be more in love with you each day. Sorry for the times you thought I had someone else, They were just my friends… nothing more, nothing less. I know there is no officially “US” but for me… you will always be MY ONLY ONE. I never want to think negative thoughts that might happen when distance is between us, but one thing I assure you is “no matter how many handsome faces around me, I may look at them for a minute, but in the end… I will always stare at the only perfect face my heart sees… YOURS <3” Each time I look in your eyes, my heart never fails to skip a beat and if I had given a chance to be with someone else, I will always stick with you. MY HEART; MY PRINCE; MY EVERYTHING… <3 PMS

ran out of words to say.

When conversations got dreary, it doesn’t mean I ran out of words to say. It simply means no words can depict what I feel whenever your around me. Lips maybe stitched yet my heart is widely open for someone who’s willing to be part of me. I’ve been longing to have someone for real. Someone whom I can call mine and only mine.